Centerpiece Galore

This is a photoset of some of my favorite wedding centerpieces. I hope you find some inspiration. 

The bride who was more focused on lights than flowers

This beach inspired arrangement

This perfect winter centerpiece

This simple yet elegant white and neutral combination

This high/low combination of creamy pastel colors

This brightly lit outdoor celebration

This simple but beautiful arrangement

This white elegance

The Bride War Handbook

Nothing is off limits on this blog and I was taking suggestions from people in my circles about what to write when I received this great one. While I when I originally started this blog I wanted to focus on sharing the best deals around, talking about family dynamics is too tempting a subject for me to pass up such an interesting topic.

Whether there is an element of truth to the statement or it's a stereotype with no basis in reality that evolved from a misogynistic patriarchal society (Lol did I actually just say that?), women have a reputation of being catty and competitive. But not competitive in the "good" way, you know, like men are competitive about sports or in the workplace. We seem to have a reputation of wanting to compete over things that society doesn't believe add significant value to our lives. We compete over our clothes, make up, jewelry, etc. It should come at a shock to no one that we would compete over wedding related matters.

As weddings get bigger and more expensive, we are expected to outdo each other in all aspects of our planning. If only so much emphasis was placed on who had the best marriage! However, that's for different  blog that I'll create if I get around to it. On this site, we'll stick to the superficial things, shall we? For example, in my case, I knew that my wedding would be weighted against my cousins' weddings. Both the weddings that happened before mine as well as those still in the pipeline. Allow me to emphasize that I did not care one lick, because my only competition is myself. I don't strive to rank myself against others, yet, that didn't change the fact that I knew it was happening. People commented on my dress, my choice in colors and my stationary. Good and Bad. If you're wondering how I could still not care knowing I am being compared, it's because I know they would probably fall short in the only comparison that matters: my husband.

I see myself straying from the superficial again so let me get back on track.

Unless you're a teenager or in your 40s, chances are a lot of your friends are getting married shortly before or after you. Shortly in this case could be as recently as a few months or as long as 3 years but the point is that it's not a decade or more. People tend to get married in the same age group as their peers and we tend to be friends with those in our age group since we meet them through school and work.

Take the competitive nature of human beings, the fact that some women do live up to the stereotype of being catty and throw it in the mix with the stress of wedding planning and the pressure for everything to be perfect, and you have a recipe for disaster. People have been accused of stealing ideas or venues and trying to sabotage another bride's special day. I mean we are talking real life Bride Wars. Before you try to shave your best friend's head to make sure you look better than her, I'll give you some coping tips on dealing with another bride-to-be in the midst of your own planning.

Dealing with Competition (or not. Your call)

• If an idea is really special to you, do not discuss it with someone else. Know your limits and be honest with yourself. Would it upset you if they "borrowed" that idea? Don't talk about it. While it might be tempting to share your super cool or romantic idea with your bff, if she's also engaged, you can no longer control what she does once it goes from your mouth to her ears. On the flip side, if you have the tendency to "borrow" things yourself, have enough self control to tactfully say: "I want to be surprised along with everyone else. Why don't you keep it a secret

• While your wedding is about you, their wedding is not. Do not ask the other bride to change her plans to accommodate you. You like the venue she booked? Well tough luck. She's getting married 18 months before you are and she booked it first. The venue wasn't invented for you and it will not be set on fire after your wedding. Hundreds tied the knot there before you and thousands more will after you. You can dictate your bridesmaid's outfit for the day, but if your maid of honor has a bigger engagement ring than yours, you can't demand that she takes it off so it doesn't outshine yours. 

• It's ok to have the same people in your bridal party. The friends you have in common don't belong to YOU. They are her friends too. If anything you should be grateful that you have friends who are willing to be there for both of you. Being in a wedding is expensive and those who chose to do both decided to put their relationship with you ahead of money. You're both very lucky and try to focus on that rather than anything else. 

• Don't compare. You don't have the same tastes or finances. Not to mention every moment you spend worrying about what you think they're doing wrong or what you think they're doing better than you is a moment you spent no taking care of your own planning. 

• Live by the golden rule. Don't go to someone else's wedding and do what you wouldn't want them to do at your own wedding. Do you know a scandalous detail about her study abroad days? I'm sure you'd hate for your fiance to find out that you made out with your yoga instructor when you guys were on that "break", so keep it to yourself. Don't get wasted and fall backwards into the gifts table if you wouldn't want that scene at your wedding either. 

• Be helpful. If you've already been through it, it's a nice gesture. If you're still working on your own wedding, build goodwill. Trust me, you'll need it. 

• Don't let it get to you. It's very possible you're the more reasonable person in this scenario. After all, you are reading this blog... While my previous tips deals with you working on not being the petty one, it doesn't say anything about dealing with a difficult and catty bride. The most thing you need to remember is that how she behaves says more about her than it does about you. You can't control how people act but you can certainly control how you react to them. If you have a healthy perspective of what matters, you will not allow the small things to bother you. Deal with attempted sabotage swiftly and seriously. Have the conversations that need to be had and move on. Did she book the church you've dreamed of since you were 8? That's fine unless you have the same wedding day. You'll have different flowers, a different dress and a different groom. Unless she tried to hack your wedding registry and sign you up for 150 different boxes of silverware or try to sleep with your groom, pick your battles. Not everything needs to be a knock out drag out fat. 

Wedding 2.0 - The Ultimate Planning Apps

Everything has gone high tech. We look for jobs online, we date online, we shop online and we watch movies and listen to music using the internet. It should come as no surprise that the wedding planning landscape would do the same. If match.com's claim of 1 in 5 relationships started online, why not plan your wedding the same way you met your mate? To help with that, I'm going to give you a list of some fantastic apps that will make your planning so much easier.

(These are not all exclusively dedicated to weddings, however, I would hate to leave out something useful just because it isn't wedding related.)

THE KNOT

You cannot talk about wedding planning without referencing the mother of all planning sites. Manage your guest list, save pictures of dresses and cross things off your to-do list. It really does it all. Well at least close to it.

PINTREST

Ok, so it's technically not wedding related and in fact, the amount of time you'll waste on it going through other people's boards might actually sabotage your plans by making your late for meetings and distracting you. But let's be honest, these aspiring bride-to-bes have the best "some day" boards. There is definitely a lot of inspiration on there, especially when it comes to wedding reception. My own wedding cake design came from a combination of 3 or 4 cakes I found on Pintrest. 

WEDPICS

Like Instagram but better. This allows you and you guests to take pictures of all wedding related events (you can keep separate albums for engagement party, shower, rehersal, etc.) and share them with each other. While Instagram fame is great, other day-to-day pictures can break up the flow of your big day. Keep it all in one place with this app. 

MINT

 Of course, as the budget conscious person I am, I had to include Mint. Mint can pull all of your accounts together and help you track your spending. Are you worried you might go over budget? This app won't stop that from happening but it will sure shame you by telling you exactly how much you overspent!  :)  You know what else is fun? It's not just for weddings, so if you don't get your finances together after the wedding either, you can still continue to use the app so you can have a snap shot of all the things you're doing wrong in your regular life as well. 

YELP 

If you're not already using Yelp you're missing out. I'm not just saying that because I used to own Yelp stock. I use the app pretty regularly. It has a lot of great functions. It connects to your phone GPS and map to give you directions to your destination, you can read a lot of honest reviews from people who have already used a vendor you're considering. It also allows you to rate vendors yourself after the wedding.

APPY COUPLE

Engagement announcements are becoming more creative every year. Furthermore, the age of social media has made it more normal to share every moment of your life. This app combines both of these things. Showcase your story to your loved ones and publish every detail of your planning. 

WEDSTYLE 

No detail is more important to your day than you wedding dress. Get inspired by having all best looks and hottest trends at your fingertips. And if you can't make up your mind about something, there's a community of users more than willing to give you their opinion if you upload a photo of the items you're deciding on.

MY FITNESS PAL 

Your online diary helping you to stay committed to your diet and exercise plan. Fit into your wedding dress with the help of this fitness tracker. You can pair it with the pedometer of your choice. 

WUNDERLIST

This app's best feature is the ability to assign tasks to others and follow their progress. 

Wedding Planners

I'm starting to notice this trend of everyone now calling themselves a wedding planner. A lot of people believe that participating in their friend's wedding or getting married themselves qualify them as a wedding planner. So far this year, at least 3 people announced on Facebook that they've officially launched their wedding planning business. They're now for hire to help make bridal dreams come true. However, I think this surge in this career choice, either as a permanent move or a side job, is a result of people thinking that wedding planning is easy. 

You throw a party and make a few thousands on the week end. How bad could it be? The fact remains that many of the very good planners who are raking in the money are not doing so because it's easy, but because the wedding industry is booming, despite the high divorce rates. Weddings are becoming more extravagant, couples are inviting more people and wedding vendors have figured out a way to nickel and dime you. Wedding planning is hard work, and it's twice as hard when you're looking to execute the vision of a complete stranger who you barely know. There's also a lot of pressure with planning a wedding since any mistake could make or break the celebrations. 

One of my very good friends is a wedding planner in Florida and after seeing the time and effort she put into growing her business and clientele, I can see that it takes very specific characteristics to be a good wedding planner. Simply attending event planning classes will not be sufficient to equip you with all the tools you need to be successful wedding after wedding. Her clients seem to understand that since her first wave of business came after her own beautiful wedding, with the second wave coming after her first couple of paid gigs. So if you're looking for a planner, I recommend you seek out someone who:

Has a track record of successful events - An event planning certificate reinforces your planner's skills but is not a substitute for them. You don't want to be someone's first client unless you're throwing a child's birthday party. When it comes to weddings, make sure that your planner has a few under his or her belt. Otherwise, you could end up being their guinea pig and they may learn how to improve on their shortcomings from all the mistakes they made at your wedding. 

Is creative - Congratulations if you are a master at conveying your thoughts and feelings and everyone can understand your vision perfectly. For the rest of us mere humans, we may not be as clear on what we want, especially if we've never done it before. You want your planner to be able to use her creativity to make your vision come to life. Someone who says: "I don't get it" to every other idea you present, may not be the one for you. 

Is decisive - When planners deal with vendors, they may do so without you being present. Even if they have instructions from you, the instructions may be something the vendor absolutely refuses to do. You want your planner to be comfortable making decisions on your behalf. Of course, this goes without saying that the planner must be trustworthy enough for you to know that these choices will always be in your best interest.   

Is personable - Planners deal with your vendors, your guests and your future spouse. They negotiate prices for you and communicate your wishes to the attendees to make sure everything is just as you want it to be. A grouchy planner (who I don't believe would be in the business long anyway) will create unnecessary obstacles.

Is flexible - You'll change your mind. There's no if about that; it will happen. Not because you're indecisive (some of you might be) but because you'll realize that what you've loved when you were 5 is either not practical, to expensive or a little tacky. You want to hire someone who will be receptive to your ideas. 

Is not a yes (wo)man - Being receptive to your ideas does not mean they should not point out when you've completely gone off the rails. Brides tend to be surrounded by yes (wo)men by default because the people who tend to be the most involved in the planning are often their closest relatives who may not want to speak up and hurt the brides feelings. You don't need yet another person who will do that. If you want to hang rubber frogs from the ceiling of your swamp-themed wedding Ant Sally can lie to you for free. No need to pay someone else who'll do the same. 

These don't even scratch the surface of all the things that make a wedding planner great but it's certainly a start and I'll go as far as saying these are non-negotiable. If you are hiring a planner, I hope this will be a good starting point. 

Deals of the Week 9/14/15

This post is a day late due to some computer problems I was having, however I hope it will do the opposite of leaving you a dollar short.

Below you'll find some pretty good discounts across various websites. If you miss it this time, just check back again. There are always deals going around. Always. It's just a matter of being consistent with checking in. I'll do the research so you don't have to and here's what I found:

(Sorted with the closest expiration date on top. Shutterfly is repeated because they have 2 deals going on.)

Wedding Paper Divas (Link)
Deal: 20% off invitations & 30% off response and enclosure cards
Code(s): WEDINV20SEP + SUITE30SEP
Expires: 9/15/15
Type: Wedding Stationary

Zazzle (Link)
Deal: 30% off invitations
Code(s): FUNWITHPHOTO
Expires: 9/17/15
Type: Wedding Stationary
Note: Who says your life has to revolve around weddings? They also have 15% off sitewide until September 17.

Shutterfly (Link)
Deal: See note for details
Code(s): none
Expires: 9/17/15
Type: Wedding Stationary
Note:
Save 40% on 3/4 fold cards on signature cardstock.
Save 30% on 5x7 tri-fold and 6x8 flat cards on signature cardstock.
Save 20% on 5x7 folded, 4x5, 4x8, 5x5, and 5x7 flat cards on signature cardstock.
Save 30% on 6x8 and 5x7 foil stamped cards on signature cardstock.
Save 30% on stationery magnets, 5x7 wedding invitations and 3x5 enclosure cards on signature cardstock.
Save 20% on photo paper and 3x5 folded cards on signature cardstock.

Vista Print (Link)
Deal: 40% off sitewide + 500 postcards for $25
Code(s): None
Expires: 9/21/15
Type: Wedding Stationary

Magnet Street (Link)
Deal: 20% off $99 or more
Code(s): W20DEAL
Expires: 9/28/15
Type: Wedding Stationary

Shutterfly (Link)
Deal: Free shipping on any orders over $39
Code(s): SHIP39
Expires: unknown
Type: Wedding Stationary



Considering that the average cost of wedding stationary (invitations, save-the-dates, thank you card, etc.) can add up to about $1,000, this can save you hundreds.

Happy and Frugal Planning!

Wedding Etiquette: Couple Edition

When it comes to wedding planning, we love to criticize guests for their poor wedding etiquette, but what about the engaged couple? We never seem to look at what the couple could be doing differently to ensure that they're doing their part to show their good manners.

Make it clear who's invited and who's not - Some people will assume they're invited. As the bride (or groom), it is your responsibility to make it clear that they are not invited. You must certainly do it in a very polite way, i.e. "We would love to invite everyone that we are friends with, but we are restricted by space (or budget) and had to make some tough decisions about only inviting our relatives." but it must be done. I don't really care how you phrase it or what your word choice is, but you can't allow someone to think they're invited to your wedding only for them to find out they aren't welcome when they don't get an invitation. 

Do not invite someone to pre-wedding events if you're not going to invite them to the actual wedding - I can't imagine anything tackier than inviting someone to your shower and not inviting the to the wedding. If it sounds ridiculous, that's because it is. But it has definitely been done. It sends the message that: "I don't wish to host you at my wedding, but I'll take a gift from you."

Don't spend your entire work day planning your wedding - Most of your vendors may not keep odd hours and you may be stuck making some calls during normal business hours. Still, this is not a good enough reason to ignore all of your responsibilities. The last thing you need is to lose your job permanently over a one day party. Not to mention, your co-workers may be stuck picking up your slack and it is not fair to them that the stresses from your wedding trickles down to them in the form of additional work. Do your best to contain your planning to your lunch break and take some time off if you have to.

Don't ask people to help you with the wedding plans if they're not invited to the wedding - It's the same idea as point #2. You can't use up someone's time and resources for an event they won't be a part of. This is more of a grey area. This rule doesn't apply when your local grocery clerk may suggest the same make up artist her daughter had or your helpful co-worker knows a fantastic photographer. Often times, these people will offer the information voluntarily and it also doesn't take a significant amount of effort or brainpower. But don't ask anyone who's not a close friend or relative attending the wedding to comparison shop, send you coupons, etc. 

Treat your bridesmaids well - I know the term might be a little confusing for some, but don't let it fool you. Your bridesmaids are not actually maids. They may have been 500 years ago, but not anymore. They're your closest friends and relatives with lives of their own. They are allowed to have boundaries so it is in the best interest of your relationship to understand and respect that.

Understand that money comes with strings attached - If you want things your way or the highway, pay for it yourself. You cannot take a significant amount of money from your parents and refuse to incorporate some of their ideas in the planning. Sure, it's your day. Pay for it. Your parents certainly do not owe you a lavish party. Maybe they did in medieval times when women didn't work. But nowadays, the expectations are that you spend what you can't afford. If someone else is subsidizing your grandiose plans, there has to be some leeway. If your parents are so generous that they're willing to give you a blank check and have no input, let me know if they want more kids cause I'm putting myself up for adoption. Otherwise, that they may want to invite that cousin you don't like and you may just have to deal.

This is far from the most comprehensive list of wedding faux pas couples can commit, but it's a start. 

Better Use of Wedding Money

Credit: Huffington Post

If you're anywhere past the 3-month mark, I'm sure you've had at least one of the following thoughts: "This is costing us too much! I am tired... I can't wait for it to be over." Well I thought I could give you tired and damn-near broke brides something to fantasize about: What else you could have done with all the money you're spending on the wedding. According to The Knot, the average wedding now costs over $31,000, not including honeymoon expenses. So for simplicity, we'll use that number.

Buy a house: You could put 10% down on a $300,000 house. Real estate can be a good investment if you do your homework and you don't overpay. Interest rates are still low, as I am writing this, Bank of America is advertising 4% for a 30-year mortgage and Chase is advertising 3.12% for a 15-year fixed. While these low rates have screwed the savers among us, it's also been an opportunity for cheap money. While we don't know when or if rates will rise, they certainly can't go that far down. So girl, get yourself a home!

Buy a car: Well if things are so bad that you're thinking about cancelling your wedding, why not go all out and get yourself a nice ride? You can get yourself a 2016 Acura ILX for $32k. Sure, it's more than the $31k most brides spend, but what's another thousand in the grand scheme of things?

Buy some stocks: Despite the mass panic created by 2015's black Monday which followed the 2008 Great Recession, if you give it enough time, the stock market generally performs well. Between September 2010 and September 2015, the Dow Jones Industrial Average went from 10,000 points to 16,000 points. If you had a well diversified portfolio that reflected that kind of performance, $31,000 today would grow to more than $49,000 in 5 years.

Pay off debt: According to a 2015 article by Nerd Wallet, the average student loan debt is $32,953. Considering that student loans are one of the few debts you cannot discharge in bankruptcy, I'd say get rid of it as soon as you can.

Build an emergency fund: nearly 25% of Americans don't have an emergency fund. While financial experts can never really agree how much it should be (some say 3 months, most say 6 months and since the recession there's a lot of 8 months being thrown around), they all agree that you need one. An emergency fund can be used for a variety of things like your hoopty finally giving out or huge medical bills. But sadly, an emergency fund should also be there to sustain you in  case you lose your job. So in that case I would say the more the better because people are unemployed for a lot more than 3 months nowadays. How much do you need per month to live? Take that number and multiply it by 8 and ta-da! Emergency fund. Take the rest and put it in a Roth IRA (IRS limit is $5,500/year). If you still have money left, go ahead, buy yourself something nice. You've clearly demonstrated that you're responsible enough and deserve a treat.

This post was designed to be tongue-in-cheek, kinda. Some of the "other uses" can still be sound financial advice, like investing in your future, building an emergency fund and having a retirement account. However, now that you're done fantasizing about all the things you could be spending this money on, come back to earth and keep planning your wedding. Nothing can put a price tag on the feeling you'll get when you make eye contact with your groom for the first time. You'll know then that every drop of sweat and every penny was worth it. Spend only what you can afford but remember that a permanent union with the one you love is priceless.

Happy Planning!

Managing Stress

Evidently, planning any major event is a significant source of stress. Throw in the fact that you will be the center of attention, you're committing your life to one person until death separates you and the wedding industry tells you that you have to have the bash of a lifetime, and you will quickly find that the stress grows exponentially. We often get so consumed by the superficial details and forget to take care of ourselves. Below, I will give some pointers for stress relief. Some of these I made sure to follow, others I wish I had taken my own advice. 

Take a day off from wedding planning - Unless you're having a shotgun wedding, you likely have at least 9 months and maybe even as long as 18 months to plan. You do not have to live, breathe and sleep wedding plans from 'Yes' to 'I do'. If you feel overwhelmed, take a break. The last thing you want is to resent the fact that you're planning a wedding. Your fiance won't appreciate the "this sucks" chorus you'll be singing if you're hating the process. 

Work on your friendships - Your bridesmaids have lives too. Their problems didn't magically disappear because you got engaged. Get together with your friends for something other than wedding errands. Ask them how they are doing and offer them help if you can. Your marriage may last forever, but your wedding will only be for a day. Don't alienate people. As busy as you will be, the last thing you want is to lose your support system. 

Know what you can afford - Nothing creates stress like tight purse strings. If you're putting everything on your credit card, you know eventually, you'll have to pay it off. If 250 people sent their RSVPs back saying they will attend and you know you can only afford 200 guests, you will start losing sleep about coming up with the money for the other 50 people. However, if you are sticking to your budget and you know that your activities will not create a financial strain, that's one less thing you have to worry about.

Be nice to your partner - Don't do things that will create friction between you. After all, he's your #1 fan and support system, so if you have to avoid fighting with anyone, it should be that person. There will be plenty of things to disagree about, so pick your battles. 

Reigning in Expenses: Why it Matters

Credit: Mary and Money

While I enjoy writing on the topic of wedding planning, I certainly don't spend all, or even a majority of my time thinking about these things. In fact, if you see one of my previous posts, I have shared my wedding pictures publicly and thus my wedding planning days are actually far behind me. No more of that until I have a daughter. I keep talking about the topic because I enjoy writing and I hope that someone can stumble on my blog and use a tip or two.

Is there such a thing as a blog identity crisis? Because if there is, I'm about to have one and go a little off topic. Just a little. Please try not to kick that soap box from under me while I preach. 

Marriage is (intended to be) a lifelong partnership between 2 people. If you google the word 'Partner', one of the definitions you will find reads as follows: a person who takes part in an undertaking with another or others, especially in a business or company with shared risks and profits. (emphasis mine).

As life partners in this new venture, you share the risks and the rewards with your husband to be. Your successes are his, your failures will also be his, and vice-versa. The wedding will end and you will have to go home and heat your house, put food on the table and pay for health insurance, not for one, but now two people. While few households have a stay at home spouse, the fact remains that even with a dual income family, both parties have a responsibility to be good stewards of their finances, and chances are that, unless you bought a home together before you got married, paying for the wedding will be your first major expense as a couple. This is your first opportunity to demonstrate to each other that you are responsible and you are looking out for the financial well-being of the newly formed team. You want to demonstrate to your new husband that you can put together a great party without doing so at the expense of financial security. It would be quite the exaggeration for me to suggest that a fancy wedding will hinder your ability to retire, but if poorly planning your wedding is any indication of your impulsive spending habits or lack of self-control, your partner should be very concerned. 

Here are some parallels between wedding planning and day-to-day finances:

Budget: A wedding budget keeps you on track. It tells you where you should cut costs and where you have a little bit more wiggle room. A household budget also does the same. But most importantly, a household budget let's you know if you're living within your means and staying out of trouble. 

Negotiating: Knowing how to negotiate well allows you to get the best prices from vendors. In the event that you can't get a lower price, you might also be able to convince your vendors to throw in some add-ons. In life, you will spend a great deal of money on some necessary big ticket item. You'll need cars, you'll need a home to buy or lease and you're going to be comfortable negotiating for a better deal. 

Making tough decisions: If you're cutting you guest list to save money, you might have to tell your fiance that his favorite cousin who helped fix his fire truck when he was a kid can't bring his 4 kids to the wedding. You might also have to accept that your brother's ex-girlfriend can't come to the wedding even if she confided in you after your brother cheated on her. And just like that, in real life, you'll also be making some tough decisions. Where to live, which house to buy, if someone should stay home and take care of the kids. 

Doing what's right for you: You'll quickly find that there are a lot of unsolicited coming your way around wedding planning time. People love to share their ideas, no matter how bad they are. "You're having a nautical wedding? Your bridesmaids' dresses are going to be navy blue? How about sage green shoes?" Life will be no different. These same busybodies will give you parenting tips no matter how miserable their kids turn out, they'll tell you they don't like your outfit, they'll comment  on your husband's profession, etc. What a perfect opportunity to show a united front with your future spouse when you tell the armchair wedding planners to buzz off because you're doing what makes you and your husband happy. Most importantly, you're doing what you can afford. So when your aunt Sally asks why you aren't serving steak at the wedding, you can practice setting boundaries by telling her if she wants a steak dinner, she can go to Smith and Wollensky and pay for it herself. 

In conclusion, my recommendation is to not be shortsighted in your actions. While you guys are planning a one day party, the fact remains that how you handle it is a glimpse into your future ability to work together, be reasonable, compromise and make good decisions. With money being pretty high on the list for cause of divorce in this consumer driven economy, I would put a little bit of effort into starting things off on the right foot. 

*trips off soapbox on the way down*

Happy planning!

Official Pictures

I am excited that the professional pictures are here and I love them all. My photographer did a great job and I am glad that they turned out very well. I hope you enjoy them. (Please note that the pictures are professional pictures and are copyrighted. The only people with rights to the pictures are the photographer and myself. You may not use them without permission.)

Black Satin Pumps from Betsey Johnson

Mom & my rockstar MOH helping tie my dress

A bit of a close up of my embellishment 

"I do!" something blue

Aisle 

Tons of smile that day

The recessional 

Enjoying some cool drinks on a warm summer day

Black and white portrait

A few traditional poses

Round monochromatic bouquet

Non-traditional wedding cake

Calla Lily centerpieces 

Father Daughter Dance

First dance

Bouquet

The cake was delicious and we wrecked it

Aisle

Ceremony View

Rings

Love :)

Let your guests have fun

This picture was taken by my husband

I've read some pretty interesting things online about whether or not it was appropriate to ask guests to refrain from taking pictures at the wedding. Your guests are here to share a special moment with you. Presumably you wanted them to take part of every aspect of the day, which is why they were invited. Why would there be any question about whether or not there allowed to take pictures?

There are certainly guests with not so good manners who think they know better than the professional photographer you paid a lot of money for. These guests may get up in front of your hired photographer to get the best shots or might even get in the aisle during the ceremony. This can create a disruption of a special moment. There are ways to mitigate that by using some strategically places decorations along the aisles. That makes it difficult for the amateur photographers to create distractions unless they want to be that guy. It also removes the awkwardness of having to say "sit down uncle Joe. You're annoying our real photographer."

But when your professional pictures take a while to come in, pictures from your guests will be the only thing holding you over for the next 6-8 weeks after the wedding. As of this post, I have not seen a single professional picture & I probably have 3 more weeks to go. The only pictures & videos I have so far have all been from guests who were free to roam and take several candid and staged shots. 

So unless you're Beyoncé and are having a top secret gala, let them have a little fun. Their pictures will be the only ones available for a while. 

My high school classmates "admiring" my ring. This picture was taken by my mom's friend. 

"She Said The 'W' Word!"

Ladies do have the reputation of dropping the word "wedding" in conversation, don't we? We want people to know we are getting married. After all we are spending lots of money to show our everlasting devotion to the one and only. We also get to wear a pretty white dress, act like a brat & be treated like a princess. What's not to love? Just remember that it can cost you. 

Everything becomes infinitely more expensive when people find out you're getting married. Make up which is normally $50-75 is now $150-200. Same goes for hair, alterations, shoes, etc. While there are some things you can't avoid, for example, your make up artist will catch on pretty quick that you're a bride, same for your seamstress, there are other areas where you can keep your upcoming nuptials a secret.

In my case, I wanted chocolate covered strawberries served with my cake. When I asked the venue how much it would cost, I was quoted a price of $3 per strawberry, plus a 19% taxable administrative fee, 7% sales tax and 15% non-taxable service charge. That's a lot of money for a single strawberry I thought. So I decided to contact a bakery and I told them I needed 100 chocolate coveted strawberries delivered to this place, at this time. I conveniently failed to mention anything about a wedding and whadda ya know? They were $1.75 each. 

If you can help it, remember to tell everyone you're trying to book that you're just having a really BIG party. You can save yourself some bucks by saying nothing about a wedding.

What I Wish I Would Have Done Differently

Looking back on the wedding day, everything came out just like I would have imagined, if not better. I wouldn't trade anything about it for the world. I managed to stay on schedule despite the best efforts of some perpetual tardy folks, the decorations were as I anticipated, the food was good and I loved my cake. 

However my planning process left a lot to be desired. With a big family comes a huge support system. That network is expanded even more when the bride attended an all-girl school for a huge portion of her academic career. While not everyone is reliable, it's a pretty favorable position to be in. In fact, one of my very good friend from grade school works part time as a wedding planner. One would think that I would delegate the more mundane tasks to my most trustworthy entourage. Except that I didn't.

The control freak in my insisted that I supervise, no, execute every detail of the planning. "But how am I supposed to know if it will be done right?!?" I didn't realize how much this undermined the competence of my friends and family until someone actually called me out on it. 

My very reliable friend from grade school who was chosen as my day-of coordinator said: "I took a week off to be at your disposal. Instead I spent 2 days sitting around doing nothing because you can't let go of certain things. I feel under utilized." By the time she said that, several things were on the verge of falling apart. 

I only took one day off before the wedding, my husband worked until 5pm the day before and I still had a long list of items left. We were pressed for time and all the things I wanted to control rather than delegate ended up slipping away from me, but in the worst way possible. Not by choice but out of necessity, because I wasn't going to get around to them. It would have been a more favorable situation if I retained some level of control by choosing what I let go of. Instead, it ended up being any "unaccomplished tasks", regardless of how important it may have been. In my quest to do it all, I stretched myself so thin that I barely did anything at all. 

In the end, it turned out fine because no matter how underutilized my friends and family were, they are still competent and trustworthy. And once I finally gave them the chance to step in, they proved it. So my regret is that I didn't step down sooner. I could have saved myself a great deal of stress by doing that. 

Wedding Cake!

Photo Credit Emms's blog

(NOTE: This is not my wedding cake. My wedding pictures are not yet available and I am unable to post my own pictures. Photo sources will continue to be credited until I get my own)

As long as I've been gone, I don't think it's hard to determine that I already got married. I put the blog on life support during the wedding planning because I underestimated how difficult it would be to jump start a blog, plan a wedding and finish an MBA. Now that I got 2 out of those 3 things done, I think I am ready to breathe life back into this thing. Back in March, I made this post about the cake selection process. But I was not able to finish it due to time constraints. Now that I have all this "free time" on my hands (don't tell my husband) I can tell you about all my woes and victories.

I booked an appointment with the GB and rushed there with the then-fiance on a cold raining afternoon. Many things were as expected: personalized attention, delicious cakes, wide selection of flavors and tons of fancy decorations. Other anticipated circumstances included the high prices and they certainly delivered. GB's price for what was essentially the same design, since we picked our own, was $600 more. Not a $600 cake. An additional $600 on top of what IB was quoting before the 10% discount.

Four words: I don't think so.

Wedding planning is not a race to the poor house. I couldn't get out of there fast enough to call IB and confirm my reservation. It was just that simple. As much as I was wishing I made this update earlier, I realize that maybe after the wedding is a better time after all. Now I know that the cake was delicious, it was beautifully decorated, they executed our vision perfectly and I still saved over $600. Maybe I would have boasted about all saving a good chunk of money and found out I was dissatisfied with the cake. Instead, I can now confirm that going with IB was very worth it.

My take away from this is that sometimes the most popular option is not the most ideal. Things can be popular for all the wrong reasons and we need to make our own choices. Even if it means taking the road less traveled.

The Power of Negotiation: Cake Edition!

Photo credit Blush Wedding Photography

Unless I'm the bride, my favorite part of any wedding is usually the cake. So I thought it was only fair that I worked to get the best cake I could for my guests. But what fun is it for me to pay an arm and a leg for a cake? I swear half the fun of this wedding planning is all the money I'm working to save. Here is the story of how I got my baker to get me a deal... Let me set the scene with the major players: in corner A we have an Italian Bakery we'll call IB and in corner B, we have a German Bakery we'll call GB. I think it's important to note that these two places were selected because I've had both their cakes and I found them to both be delicious.

 I book an appointment with IB who tells me that they are having a wedding show, and if I give a deposit that very same day, I get 10% off the total price of my cake. I said sure no problem. Sounds like a plan. But I think I'm smarter than the average bear and would never commit to the first cake company I talk to. So I immediately call the other location, aka GB, in an attempt at making an appointment with them prior to meeting with IB. However, as luck would have it, there were no appointment times available until the week after the IB meeting. I book it anyway and call IB back. "No, I'm very sorry," they inform me. "You can only get the discount if you make a deposit the same day. If you leave without committing, you pay full price." I keep the appointment anyway, not yet knowing how I am going to swing it.

The fiance and I go in, we see some display cakes, we taste a few flavors and we look at an album. After discussing the flavors between the 2 of us, the cake designer joins us and we start talking style. I dusted off my pintrest app to give her an idea of my vision, the groom gives his very creative ideas as usual, and she starts throwing a couple of diagrams together for us. After some back and forth, we settle on a design--a pretty awesome one if I do say so myself--and she goes to her boss to quote me a price. We reconvene and I drop the bomb; we're not ready to commit to IB. She goes back to the boss and returns with good news: IB will honor the 10% discount if I come back to the shop with my deposit within the week after visiting their chief competitor GB.

I'll let you on to a little secret:  I've had GB's cakes and they are delicious. I also know that compared to IB's offer, there will be a 25-30% mark up on the GB price before they even offer me the discount. Fi and I already discussed that we are likely going to go with IB, but we can't sign the paperwork without knowing we did our due diligence. We need to be confident with our decision by going to our GB meeting as scheduled, tasting the cake, and being outraged by the exorbitant amount we know they're going to ask for.

I already said I liked the taste of each place and I am relatively familiar with their designs. They don't only do wedding cakes, so I am familiar with their quality and reputation of these two bakeries. The variance in quality does not justify the difference in cost. So the premium I am paying for with GB is the brand and name recognition they have in my area. But what is the value of brand and name recognition of a wedding cake? Are people actually going to ask me where I got my cake? If they do, it's probably because they like it anyway. I can't imagine they'd be too interested in knowing where I got the cake if it didn't taste or look good. So who cares if it's not from the bakery that the south shore people consider to be high end?

I look forward to completing this post with my assessment of GB's designing prowess, their customer service and their price.

To be continued...

March Deals - Invitations

(Photo credit: The Oaks Waterfront Inn)

Your invitations set the tone for your wedding. It tells your guests about the experience you are going to offer them and it tells them what is expected of them as well. Is it a family friendly gathering? Bash of the century? Black tie affair? RSVP-by date etc. All of that and more can be discerned from your invitations.

Needless to say your invitations are a pretty big deal. Unfortunately the vendors know it and charge us accordingly. Just because something is a significant portion of your wedding planning, it doesn't have to break the bank. Below I will highlight some of the biggest, most popular vendors and their best deals.

Invitation Consultants 
They are offering free shipping on all order over $99. Ground shipping via USPS is $9 with an estimated shipping time between 1-6 days. It could be as high as $50 for overnight shipping. But if you plan ahead this should not even be a necessary option. However, unless you're having less than 50 people at your wedding, odds are, you will definitely be spending more than $99 on invitation, so most people will qualify for this. If you live in the Tampa FL, area you can pick it up free anytime. Sorry Florida brides, you won't benefit much from this one.

Savings: $9 (there are no discounts on the other shipping options regardless of how much you spend)
Expires: No stated expiration date

Vistaprint
Promo code VPTOPDEALS will give you approximately 25% off. They also have something called "Vistaprint Cash" where you earn a $10 credit for every $40 you spend. There is a limit of $30 credit per period. You can combine it with other offers.

They also have a 40% off going on but that is only for marketing materials and the code will not work for wedding stationary.

Savings: 25% off
Expires: There is no stated expiration date for this deal but the marketing deal ends on 3/3/15 so I would not delay

additional savings
Vistaprint Cash: up to $30
Expires: earn through 3/23/15 and redeem between 3/25/15 and 4/8/15

Wedding Paper Divas
Using the code WED25MAR will get you the following discounts:
15% off $99+ | 20% off $199+ | 25% off $299+.
The more you spend the more you save!

Savings: up to 25%
Expires: 3/3/15

What I used and why:
Magnet Street
When I was ordering my invitations in February, they had a tiered deal. I had the highest discount: $150 off any order of $500 or more. That's a discount of up to 30%. 

Do you have a deal we don't know about? We'd love to hear from you. Better yet, why don't you tell us if any of these worked to save you money.