What I Wish I Would Have Done Differently

Looking back on the wedding day, everything came out just like I would have imagined, if not better. I wouldn't trade anything about it for the world. I managed to stay on schedule despite the best efforts of some perpetual tardy folks, the decorations were as I anticipated, the food was good and I loved my cake. 

However my planning process left a lot to be desired. With a big family comes a huge support system. That network is expanded even more when the bride attended an all-girl school for a huge portion of her academic career. While not everyone is reliable, it's a pretty favorable position to be in. In fact, one of my very good friend from grade school works part time as a wedding planner. One would think that I would delegate the more mundane tasks to my most trustworthy entourage. Except that I didn't.

The control freak in my insisted that I supervise, no, execute every detail of the planning. "But how am I supposed to know if it will be done right?!?" I didn't realize how much this undermined the competence of my friends and family until someone actually called me out on it. 

My very reliable friend from grade school who was chosen as my day-of coordinator said: "I took a week off to be at your disposal. Instead I spent 2 days sitting around doing nothing because you can't let go of certain things. I feel under utilized." By the time she said that, several things were on the verge of falling apart. 

I only took one day off before the wedding, my husband worked until 5pm the day before and I still had a long list of items left. We were pressed for time and all the things I wanted to control rather than delegate ended up slipping away from me, but in the worst way possible. Not by choice but out of necessity, because I wasn't going to get around to them. It would have been a more favorable situation if I retained some level of control by choosing what I let go of. Instead, it ended up being any "unaccomplished tasks", regardless of how important it may have been. In my quest to do it all, I stretched myself so thin that I barely did anything at all. 

In the end, it turned out fine because no matter how underutilized my friends and family were, they are still competent and trustworthy. And once I finally gave them the chance to step in, they proved it. So my regret is that I didn't step down sooner. I could have saved myself a great deal of stress by doing that.